Loved reading this, Manasa. While I'm not a parent, I've experienced similar feelings about my career break. I still struggle with this idea of losing the quick career progression I've made so far, and worry about not being able to go back to something as "impressive" as I was doing before. It's interesting that stepping away from capitalism (for any reason) can create such strong doubts and insecurities.
This is such a good point. The conflict is inherent and conditioned and could be brought on by anything really. If folks really paid attention though, all of the life stuff you’ve stepped away to do is far more formative and important experience than potentially having stayed clocking more hours IMHO
Oh I felt quite seen here too. My guilt comes in the form of student loans for a doctorate. I racked up all the debt to be a full time mother of 3 who only works part time. Phew!!
Wow, it’s like you were speaking to everything that’s happening inside my brain right now! A mutual friend sent this essay my way, and I see why. I had a mild panic attack while we were at a spa together over the weekend (cool, cool) because I’d just gotten an exciting job offer, something 3-4 years ago I would have said yes to without hesitation, but now, with a 20mo son and much less time to offer a scrappy startup, I was panicking at the thought of what I’d lose if I said yes (time with my kid) and what I’d lose if I said no (the part of me that misses my old work identity). I also left my W2 role about a year ago, not by choice, when I was 9m pp and very much still healing. It’s been a ride that I’m grateful for but has come with a whole lotta guilt in all the ways you describe. Anyway! Just wanted you to know how much what you’ve written resonates. I think there are a lot of us out here feeling this so much right now. Sending love and solidarity!!
thank you so much for this and for sharing. i can understand, and am so very proud of the choices you have given yourself, they're not easy decisions but it sounds like you're coming to them with a real awareness. Love and solidarity right back at ya.
Wowowowowow. I have felt and feel all this. This is magic.
Loved reading this, Manasa. While I'm not a parent, I've experienced similar feelings about my career break. I still struggle with this idea of losing the quick career progression I've made so far, and worry about not being able to go back to something as "impressive" as I was doing before. It's interesting that stepping away from capitalism (for any reason) can create such strong doubts and insecurities.
This is such a good point. The conflict is inherent and conditioned and could be brought on by anything really. If folks really paid attention though, all of the life stuff you’ve stepped away to do is far more formative and important experience than potentially having stayed clocking more hours IMHO
Loved this so much. Felt seen in all the ways.
Oh I felt quite seen here too. My guilt comes in the form of student loans for a doctorate. I racked up all the debt to be a full time mother of 3 who only works part time. Phew!!
Damn student loans! FWIW I think working part time AND being a parent to 3 kids basically means you’re working 4 jobs
That’s exactly what it means. Send help 🤣
Thank you for sharing these thoughts, friend. They are so important
Wow, it’s like you were speaking to everything that’s happening inside my brain right now! A mutual friend sent this essay my way, and I see why. I had a mild panic attack while we were at a spa together over the weekend (cool, cool) because I’d just gotten an exciting job offer, something 3-4 years ago I would have said yes to without hesitation, but now, with a 20mo son and much less time to offer a scrappy startup, I was panicking at the thought of what I’d lose if I said yes (time with my kid) and what I’d lose if I said no (the part of me that misses my old work identity). I also left my W2 role about a year ago, not by choice, when I was 9m pp and very much still healing. It’s been a ride that I’m grateful for but has come with a whole lotta guilt in all the ways you describe. Anyway! Just wanted you to know how much what you’ve written resonates. I think there are a lot of us out here feeling this so much right now. Sending love and solidarity!!
thank you so much for this and for sharing. i can understand, and am so very proud of the choices you have given yourself, they're not easy decisions but it sounds like you're coming to them with a real awareness. Love and solidarity right back at ya.